Monday, Monday

Yesterday afternoon we held a PTSD workshop for our leaders and Staff. Aimee and Mary expanded on what they shared in the public workshop, explaining how important it is for the leaders to take care of themselves in order to take care of the people in their community. Many members of the community of Grand Goave look to Haiti Arise for answers and security.



I was troubled when I saw how many of our staff and board responded to the assessment questions. These are not people looking for attention or free meds. In fact, they are slow to admit it at first but eventually, partly encouraged by Marc’s own testimony of his struggles since the quake, they began to confess their experiences.


Archange, who is on our Haitian board and directs our education program, truly illuminated the expanse of the lingering psychological stress when he asked,” Why is it that the majority of people are more aggressive and the majority are more greedy?”


I experienced a sinking feeling. I had struggled with horrible melancholy and a sense of uselessness all day, questioning my abilities altogether without realizing that I was simply responding to the incomprehensible magnitude of the situation. The dawning realization that if these people, our leaders and staff who are educated and strong in faith, were still suffering, then how much more so are those without hope? I confess I had believed there was something to the post Traumatic Stress but I had some skepticism as to the profundity and breadth of the disorder.


Aimee answered Archange in her customary fashion, ballerina hands, dancing expressively with her words, “When the limbic system takes over people can become more selfish, they don’t think through problems very well. They react to things in front of them quickly and do not think them through.” She explains further, “People are trying to survive and they are thinking that it is survival of the strongest. But that is contrary to how we think as Christians. We need to respond with grace and understand that they are afraid and stressed and that is why they are behaving that way. You must fight aggression and greed in the power of the opposite spirit.”


Fortunately, Aimee and Mary bring solutions. They teach relaxation exercises, explain the physiology of the disorder and stress the importance of good health habits.

Even so, I left the workshop with a heavy heart. Haiti has long had a troubled soul. How much more can they take?


Later, I asked Barbie, Aimee, and Jessie to pray with me and as I laid my efforts and determination at God’s feet, I understood that just as He would give me the words when the time was right to communicate what needed to be shared, He would guide our efforts.

Today we went to Petit Goave to the hospital. There we checked on Sherlyn. She seemed slightly but that is probably partly due to receiving attention, minimal though it is, she has yet to be diagnosed and treated. Again, our appearance seems to prime the pump and she is being scheduled to got to Port au Prince for further testing. The doctors talk and agree that yes, it seems to be a renal issue but could possibly be caused by tuberculosis.


We met with David, the Canadian Nurse, again and he gave us a tour of the hospital. We wanted to see what they were doing there, what they were capable of doing so we could know what to rely on for the future. However, nothing is certain. The facility is under administrative change once more. They have x-ray. But no paper. They have buildings. But they may or may not be structurally sound so they utilize numerous tents for their wards. They have a lab. But one microscope. One technician. They have a fully equipped new ambulance. But no insurance and no gas. The Canadian nurse shakes his head and smiles apologetically and shrugs. It is clear that even he is bewildered. There are some hopeful aspects to the visit; we talk about monthly meetings between some of the facilities. Perhaps we will attend. We leave with a list of contacts for practitioners on the island. Sheryl is one step closer to getting the help she needs. We know that the clinic we are planning will offer care that will be an excellent option.

I quickly strolled through the market, a frightening labyrinth of shanty and tarp full of squatting vendors peddling fruits and vegetables fish and rice; soaps and sandals, hair extensions and sparkly tee shirts. Pigs heads, mud cookies, unidentifiable greens and gourds. It is surreal. Aimee commented on the layers of smell: delicious food, garbage, fish, fruit and urine. We wended our way to the waterfront where a tent town huddles on the shore. They say that the help organizations come but they do not reach them. It is hard to sort out the truth. I learned tonight about how some people have taken to placing tents near their homes to solicit the attention of the aid workers. They do not need them or use them. They are called Zombie tents. Oh, the elaborate masquerade that is Haiti. She tips her mask, as we dance, for a moment you see who she is and then she flips the disguise to portray another face and then back again and you are not even sure what you have seen.

This evening, Aimee and Mary held another PTSD workshop, this one was open to the whole community and the word had spread. Those who had attended the clinic workshops knew what to expect and had invited others. The church was nearly full. Johane helped with the workshop by sharing his knowledge of Geology.


He had just finished a geology class when the earthquake hit and he knew what was happening and tried to warn everyone to run to the mountains because he knew to anticipate a tsunami. In the workshop, he explained to them about the earth’s crust and what happens during an earthquake. Many people had believed that it was the end of the world and that they were suffering a judgment from God.


Following this portion, Aimee and Mary did their routine, which had gained dimension over the week. Aimee reported that the majority of people were responding to the questions. They shared there complaints and their collective experience covered the gamut of symptoms. Even now, they are suffering from heart palpitations, headaches, pain, memory changes, sleeplessness, nightmares etc.


Something different occurred as Aimee proceeded through her list of dos and don’ts. When she told the crowd that they needed to make sure to pay attention to their diet and to eat good things. Someone called out. “We have to have money to eat.” This gave her pause for a brief moment but she pointed out that there were many things to avoid and plenty of fruit and vegetables available in the country. It did not solve the problem but it pointed them in the right direction.


Aimee, also told me that one man shared his story. His past had been terrible, he confessed, he said that he had committed horrible crimes, including murder. Just before the earthquake, he was trying to get inside a tap tap but they would not let him in so he clung to the back as they careened through the streets of Port au Prince. When the earthquake hit he was flung from the tap tap, a building collapsed on the transport killing all the others. Only his foot was caught in the rubble. When he pulled free, he thanked God for his life but wondered desperately why someone like him had been spared. Since that moment he had been attending the church at Haiti ARISE, looking for solace and wondering if he would ever be truly free from his past. Aimee assured him that indeed he had new life.

As the workshop progressed everyone joined in practicing relaxation exercises and they laughed with each effort. Marc then came and spoke with them. Sharing his earthquake experiences and post quake struggles. When I came upon them it sounded as though I was stepping into a comedy club. Marc, if you have never had the opportunity to hear him speak, is an amazingly charismatic man. Last night he was pulling out the stops, flailing his arms and jumping and waving his hands and laughing, the squeal and fall of his voice booming beneath the tin roof and sending the crowd into fits of laughter. I cannot tell you how good it was to see so much laughter. That has been very, glaringly absent this trip. The joy we have seen only in tiny flashes - children playing, girls braiding hair and singing.

Aimee eventually just stepped aside and let Marc finish his show. I watched her and she was beaming watching the laughing crowd, she clasped her hands under her chin, it was as if she was drawing a blanket of comfort up around her. The laughter filled the space and filled our hearts. Fear fled into the dusk and the deep shadows of the mangoes and relief and healing infused a brightness in its place.


Aimee said later, “Tonight, was the reason I came.” Jessie smiled her beatific smile and gently corrected her, “No, you have days left. It builds, and there is more to do.”


She is right. Each day has been a progressive revelation. We felt a little small and uncertain at first. Then we saw the beginnings of the effects of stress, then we saw the magnitude, then we saw the people reach out and respond and then, what joy, we see them healing!

In church on Sunday we sang the worship song Trading My Sorrows in Creole, well they did, I sang along in English. As I think of the gathering last night, rocking with laughter and clutching at each other with joy, I hear those words, my heart rises and the tears come, again.


I'm trading my sorrow


I'm trading my shame


I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

I'm trading my sickness


I'm trading my pain


I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

And we say yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord


Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord


Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord Amen

I'm pressed but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned


Struck down but not destroyed


I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure


And his joy's gonna be my strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night


His joy comes with the morning!